The Israelis believe themselves to be faced with an existential threat to their continuation as a country and as a people. Similarly, the Palistinians lack any real power to protect themselves from incursions by Israeli military. Faced with this threat behavior is based on fear and therefore conflict and strife are the result.

As the first step both sides will have to acknowledge the right of the other side to exist as distinct and independent countries. The power imbalance needs to be changed so there is negotiations among equals rather than the current situation in which Israel holds all of the power and when it is unhappy with the progress of negotiations it can simply leave the negotiation process with no real consequences occurring.

What will be required is deep listening in order to move toward understandings, given the long history of misunderstandings and conflict. Adam Kahane, author of Solving Tough Problems, identified four types of listening and talking:

Downloading consists of polite, socially accepted, conventional conversation. We say what we are expected to say, we do not listen carefully, and nothing new is explored. This type of talking is okay when the context requires predictable efficient answers, but is powerless, even counterproductive, when addressing serious problems.

Debating involves actively searching out alternative facts, perspectives and options. We say what we really think, welcome challenge and do not back away from open argument. We learn.

Reflective Dialogue is characterized by moving outside ourselves. We stand in the shoes of others and see through their eyes. We listen self-reflectively to ourselves, hearing ourselves through the ears of others. We examine how things became what they are today and envision how they might change.

Generative Dialogue occurs when a group moves from reflective dialogue to experiencing for periods of time a “whole collective ‘I’”. The normal sense of separation between people is lessened and the group exists in its common purpose